Just feeling a little "under the weather" spiritually. Almost six years ago now I fell away from the Lord, and at the time I knew it was going to happen, and I knew also that I would be at some appointed time in the future, would be back to serve God. I was fed up with always doing the right thing, and everything always going the wrong way. And so I blocked out God, and started following my own path, in my own rebellious way, I did things I ultimately shouldn't have done and I didn't care. I needed a break, and I needed to find my way on my own with my children who have always been the biggest blessing in my life. God knows what I did- And He also knows how I felt, how I feel now, and I believe He has forgiven me. I believe that through the journey I have been on in the past five years, He has always been there for me. I don't believe He once forgot about me. He might have turned his face away from me, probably more than once, but He never left me, nor forsook me in all the time I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do.
I committed adultery, lived with another man until I was divorced. Yes, I committed the ultimate of sins, but I never stopped loving God, and I never fully walked away from Him either and denounced Him as the God who He is. Was I right in what I did? No. But I felt it was needful to do for myself and my children.
Here I am all over now on a different path, in a different time, but still in this lifetime and still trying to do my best to do what God wants me to do. But it's a daily struggle to just "do" the right things. Im not so rebellious anymore. I have reaped what I've sown and will probably continue to do so until the day I leave this earth. But I know that I am forgiven and that I am saved no matter what others say, no matter what churches say. I know my God has forgiven me.
I guess my whole idea for feeling spiritually dry is that the world around us has changed. More or less in the past year, than in the last five that I have been a rebellious child. I wonder how I will fare in the future when the world will be in a Spiritual battle even more so. The world is changing but people don't see it. God is calling out to us all, but we're just going on in our busy, daily lives ignoring the fact that religion isn't as tolerated as it once was, there are disasters happening all over the world, the middle east is a mess. There's just too much crap going on, and no one is paying attention to it. Except me. And Im sure I'm not the only one. Anyone that has a spiritual pull is feeling the birthing pangs. Every day is just a struggle to get through, because the world is getting more and more heavy a burden. The taxes are rising, the food is going up, the gas is still high, the economy is still the same or worse as it was two years ago when it collapsed. There are still billions of people without jobs standing out on the street corners begging for money. The natural disasters are compiling at an alarming rate. This is stated somewhere other than me just imagining it all. In the book of Revelation. The book describes all this and more, and puts an urgency in the heart of the elect to be ready. Ready to go when Jesus comes again.
So what are we to do in this day and age? We are to pray and set our hearts on the right track to follow instead of ignore the messages that are being displayed before us.
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